As parents, my husband and I decided when we had children that we were not going to teach our kids to believe in Santa Clause. It's not that we're against Santa... or people whose holiday does include him, but we just decided that was not a tradition we were going to follow in our home - for several reasons.
The main one was this: We were teaching our kids about Jesus, a supernatural being who is omicient (all-knowing), omnipresent (all places), and sees your heart. We didn't want to teach our kids about a fictional character with similar attributes (Santa)only to one day have to say. "just kidding, he isn't real"... but maintain that Jesus IS real. We thought that would be confusing, and we didn't want our kids to know us as parents who mislead them. We also wanted to keep the focus of Christmas on Jesus (the Savior who came to redeem the world) rather than on commercialism, getting stuff, and thinking of self. It was as simple as that. No big deal. Unlike some other people with strong religiious convictions, we don't bash Santa or call him evil. We just simply tell our kids that he is a fun, make-believe character like Mickey Mouse. A fictional character that represents the holiday, but is not real. My kids get it, and they are not the least bit deprived because of the lack of "magic" in our home. They know that their gifts come from people who love them, and they are greatful.
The other day I was riding in my car listening to Christmas music on the radio, and I heard "Santa Clause is Coming to Town". You know, the one about making a list and checking it twice - finding out who's naughty or nice. As those lyrics began to sink in, I found myself a little dismayed. Minutes later, I was at Barnes & Noble and saw a popular new book/toy called the "Elf on the Shelf". The stuffed elf acts as Santa's spy and sits in various locations in your home watching your kid's behavior, and then reports back to Santa so he'll know who to put on the 'naughty list' or the 'nice list'.
Then it struck me. I didn't like the song, and I didn't like the elf on the shelf, and I finally realized why. Santa opperates on a system that I (as a Christian) can't relate to. It's a "works-based" system, and it's foreign to me as a Jesus-follower. My entire faith is built around the idea of grace. Your works don't save you. Jesus doesn't weigh your good and your bad and decide what reward/punishment you get based on your behavior or your performance. He gives on a system of grace - we mess up all the time, don't earn or deserve any favor, but we get it anyway, because He loves us unconditonaly. That's the definition of grace - getting something you don't deserve. Not because of anything we have done, but because of the never-ending love and generosity of the Gift-Giver. That's the foundation of my faith. That is what I teach my children. And that is the culture in which I'm used to existing. That's why the whole Santa thing strikes me as "off". The works-based system of getting gifts because you behaved good enough, or getting overlooked because you didn't meet the mark goes against everything my faith represents, my Bible teaches, and my Savior proclaims. It's contrary to everything I teach my kids about Jesus. And quite honestly, I think it's even a little cruel. Can't we just teach our kids to be obedient and respectful without threatening to take away their Christmas? Shouldn't we expect good behavior from them simply because it's what we value as a family, and it's necessary for success in the world? And shouldn't we bestow gifts on them at Christmas simply because we love them and we're thankful for God's blessings?
I'm glad Jesus isn't Santa. I'm thankful that my Savior doesn't weigh my good and bad deeds and gift me accordingly. I'd have a lot of scarce Christmases. I'm so thankful for the unconditional grace of my Savior, that gifts me with forgiveness of my sins and eternal life - not because I earned it, but because of His endless love. Yep, I'm sure glad Jesus isn't Santa. Merry Christmas!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
It's Bigger Than Breasts
I gotcha with that title, didn't I? Some of you clicked on this link just because you saw the word breasts and you were curious about where I was going with this one. Well good, I'm glad I have your attention.
I saw one of the dumbest things I've ever seen today in downtown Asheville, and my initial anger turned to sadness and pitty as I realized what was really going on. A group of women decided to stage a protest this afternoon in the middle of downtown - topless. That's right, you heard me correctly. They were topless - as in no shirts, breasts exposed, nude from the waist up. What on earth were they protesting you ask? They were demanding the right to be topless in public. They are tired of the double standard that allows men to walk the streets with their chests uncovered while women are forced to cover up. They want equality. They want the same rights men have to bare their chests.
I'm sure you're laughing as hard as I was when I first learned of this ludacricy. And I'm sure you're also thinking "only in Asheville"... But it was actually part of a national protest that was taking place in many cities all over the country. The reason we find it so humorous is because they seem to be overlooking the obvious. "Are they serious?" I asked myself as I pondered the statement they were making. "Do they really not understand the difference between a male chest and a female chest?" Why do they seem to be missing something that's incredibly obvious to most of us? The fact is, men and women's chests are different. They look different; they function differently; and they produce very different physical and emotional responses in those who view them. It didn't seem like rocket science to me, so why was it so hard for them to accept - men and women are DIFFERENT.
But this particular group of women did not want to be treated as if they were any different than men. They wanted to pretend that men and women are exactly the same, therefore leaving them no room to feel inferior or less than equal. But just because they ignore the truth, doesn't make that truth any less true. I (unlike them) understand that different doesn't mean unequal, and equal doesn't mean the same. We can be different AND equal at the same time. But this issue was actually bigger than just breasts - There was a deeper issue at play that went beyond the desire to walk around topless. Underneath these ladies' outer facade calling out for "equality" was an insecurity and a dissatisfaction that caused them to not be content with who God designed and created them to be. They claimed that they were being treated as substandard, but really they simply cannot accept and embrace the design and role that God created uniquely for them. And that's what made me sad.
I wished that these women could celebrate their differences rather than resent them. I wished that they could see the beauty in the hand-crafted design of our Creator that would cause them to glory in their uniqueness rather than wish that they were made in someone else's image. I wanted so badly to tell them that we can be equal in value while being different in appearence and even function. All we have to do is look at God Himself to see this truth illustrated. God exists in the form of the Trinity - three distinct persons equal in value, but very different in form and function. The Father, Jesus, and the Spirit all look different and perform unique roles, but I can't imagine the Holy Spirit protesting that he doesn't get to walk the streets in fleshly human form and therefore isn't being treated fairly.
There's no way around it. Women have breasts, and men don't. Women have a unique ability to feed a child with the pure milk of her own body, and men cannot. As a result, their chests look different. And because breasts have a uniquely feminine role (having to do with reproduction), they are viewed by men as desireable, pleasurable, and sexual. That is why women cover them in public. That is why they are usually reserved for the one who partners with them in the sexual and reproductive process (and their babies of course). This protest seemed as silly to me as a gorup of men protesting their right to feed their babies with their own bodies like women can, and feeling unequal because of that inability. They could protest all day long, but it wouldn't change the fact that if they tried to feed their baby on their nipple, the baby would die of starvation.
It's time for us (especially women) to start embracing the way God specifically designed our bodies, our minds, and our hearts, and realizing that they are different from men's for a reason - a divine purpose. If we would only put our whole hearts into becomming the woman God designed us to be instead of trying to become more like men, I believe we would find so much fulfillment and satisfaction. Because after all, He knows us better than we know ourselves. And He created us to fulfill a purpose that only we can. The Bible says it this way: "We are His masterpiece. He has created us in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago" (Ephesians 2:10 NLT). The word for 'masterpiece' in the original Greek language of the Bible is "poema", which is where we get our English word for poem. God's literally saying that we are His work of art. We each have a unique and wonderful role to play in this life, and I happen to love the role I play as a lover to my husband and mommy to my children. I enjoy being the steward of a man's vision and a leaver of a legacy to the next generations through my boys. That is who God designed me to be. I understand that not every woman will have the exact same roles and desires that I have, but don't be afraid to be who God uniquely made you to be without feeling inferior to someone else. Just be the best "you" that you can be, and don't wish that God had other things in mind when He knitted you together in your mother's womb.
Those of us who are in Christ sometimes struggle with a similar identity crisis. We may not mind being uniquely male and female (and I doubt any of us want to roam the streets baring our breasts), but we sometimes envy the roles and positons of other members of the Body - especially those who are more recognized and glamorous. Romans 12:4-6 reminds us that, "Just as our bodies have many parts, and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ's body. We are many parts of one body and we all belong to each other. In His grace, God has given us certain gifts for doing certain things well." The foot shouldn't want to be the hand, and the hand shouldn't want to be the eye. We should simply desire to be nothing more and nothing less than who God designed us to be. It's when we strive to be anything else, that we find ourselves beating our heads against the wall in frustration, becoming increasingly unfilfilled in our service to Christ. We become weary and burned out, eventually giving up.
For years I struggled to "find myself". I grew up never being quite sure of who I was, or who I wanted to be. I was uncomfortable in my own skin. I never had any female role models who actually loved and embraced womanhood with elegance and grace. I was taught to buck against the system that told girls to stay home raising babies, serving in charities, and cooking for their men. I was caught in the middle of an inner struggle between growing into the woman God created me to be and running in the other direction. I didn't relate well with girls, and consequently didn't have many deep friendships with females. To this day I am afraid to raise a daughter because of that long season of discomfort in my female relationships (thankfully God in His infinate wisdom gave me boys!). I was being told I shouldn't be too "girlie", but there was something deep in the fiber of my being that loved the idea of being a picture of femeninity. It wasn't until I fully surrendered my life to Christ in my early twenties that I began to let Him mold and shape my heart in His hands. He cultivated deep desires within me to be every bit of the wife, mommy, sister, daughter, and girlfriend He created me to be. He surrounded me with strong, beautiful, godly women who taught me the immense value in being such a woman. Ironically, today I lead a women's ministry and devote much of my time to teaching, mentoring, and counseling women to fit comfortably in the roles God has chosen for them. I love my ministry, and I love the women I am privileged to serve. It amazes me what God can do to our hearts when we stop looking elsewhere and start embracing and surremdering to His grand design. I am finally right where I am supoosed to be, and I've never been more satisfied in life.
It is right in the middle of His purpose that we find our deepest fulfillment in life. When you find that sweet spot right at the intersection of who God designed you to be and using your gifts to further His Kingdom - stay there.
I saw one of the dumbest things I've ever seen today in downtown Asheville, and my initial anger turned to sadness and pitty as I realized what was really going on. A group of women decided to stage a protest this afternoon in the middle of downtown - topless. That's right, you heard me correctly. They were topless - as in no shirts, breasts exposed, nude from the waist up. What on earth were they protesting you ask? They were demanding the right to be topless in public. They are tired of the double standard that allows men to walk the streets with their chests uncovered while women are forced to cover up. They want equality. They want the same rights men have to bare their chests.
I'm sure you're laughing as hard as I was when I first learned of this ludacricy. And I'm sure you're also thinking "only in Asheville"... But it was actually part of a national protest that was taking place in many cities all over the country. The reason we find it so humorous is because they seem to be overlooking the obvious. "Are they serious?" I asked myself as I pondered the statement they were making. "Do they really not understand the difference between a male chest and a female chest?" Why do they seem to be missing something that's incredibly obvious to most of us? The fact is, men and women's chests are different. They look different; they function differently; and they produce very different physical and emotional responses in those who view them. It didn't seem like rocket science to me, so why was it so hard for them to accept - men and women are DIFFERENT.
But this particular group of women did not want to be treated as if they were any different than men. They wanted to pretend that men and women are exactly the same, therefore leaving them no room to feel inferior or less than equal. But just because they ignore the truth, doesn't make that truth any less true. I (unlike them) understand that different doesn't mean unequal, and equal doesn't mean the same. We can be different AND equal at the same time. But this issue was actually bigger than just breasts - There was a deeper issue at play that went beyond the desire to walk around topless. Underneath these ladies' outer facade calling out for "equality" was an insecurity and a dissatisfaction that caused them to not be content with who God designed and created them to be. They claimed that they were being treated as substandard, but really they simply cannot accept and embrace the design and role that God created uniquely for them. And that's what made me sad.
I wished that these women could celebrate their differences rather than resent them. I wished that they could see the beauty in the hand-crafted design of our Creator that would cause them to glory in their uniqueness rather than wish that they were made in someone else's image. I wanted so badly to tell them that we can be equal in value while being different in appearence and even function. All we have to do is look at God Himself to see this truth illustrated. God exists in the form of the Trinity - three distinct persons equal in value, but very different in form and function. The Father, Jesus, and the Spirit all look different and perform unique roles, but I can't imagine the Holy Spirit protesting that he doesn't get to walk the streets in fleshly human form and therefore isn't being treated fairly.
There's no way around it. Women have breasts, and men don't. Women have a unique ability to feed a child with the pure milk of her own body, and men cannot. As a result, their chests look different. And because breasts have a uniquely feminine role (having to do with reproduction), they are viewed by men as desireable, pleasurable, and sexual. That is why women cover them in public. That is why they are usually reserved for the one who partners with them in the sexual and reproductive process (and their babies of course). This protest seemed as silly to me as a gorup of men protesting their right to feed their babies with their own bodies like women can, and feeling unequal because of that inability. They could protest all day long, but it wouldn't change the fact that if they tried to feed their baby on their nipple, the baby would die of starvation.
It's time for us (especially women) to start embracing the way God specifically designed our bodies, our minds, and our hearts, and realizing that they are different from men's for a reason - a divine purpose. If we would only put our whole hearts into becomming the woman God designed us to be instead of trying to become more like men, I believe we would find so much fulfillment and satisfaction. Because after all, He knows us better than we know ourselves. And He created us to fulfill a purpose that only we can. The Bible says it this way: "We are His masterpiece. He has created us in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago" (Ephesians 2:10 NLT). The word for 'masterpiece' in the original Greek language of the Bible is "poema", which is where we get our English word for poem. God's literally saying that we are His work of art. We each have a unique and wonderful role to play in this life, and I happen to love the role I play as a lover to my husband and mommy to my children. I enjoy being the steward of a man's vision and a leaver of a legacy to the next generations through my boys. That is who God designed me to be. I understand that not every woman will have the exact same roles and desires that I have, but don't be afraid to be who God uniquely made you to be without feeling inferior to someone else. Just be the best "you" that you can be, and don't wish that God had other things in mind when He knitted you together in your mother's womb.
Those of us who are in Christ sometimes struggle with a similar identity crisis. We may not mind being uniquely male and female (and I doubt any of us want to roam the streets baring our breasts), but we sometimes envy the roles and positons of other members of the Body - especially those who are more recognized and glamorous. Romans 12:4-6 reminds us that, "Just as our bodies have many parts, and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ's body. We are many parts of one body and we all belong to each other. In His grace, God has given us certain gifts for doing certain things well." The foot shouldn't want to be the hand, and the hand shouldn't want to be the eye. We should simply desire to be nothing more and nothing less than who God designed us to be. It's when we strive to be anything else, that we find ourselves beating our heads against the wall in frustration, becoming increasingly unfilfilled in our service to Christ. We become weary and burned out, eventually giving up.
For years I struggled to "find myself". I grew up never being quite sure of who I was, or who I wanted to be. I was uncomfortable in my own skin. I never had any female role models who actually loved and embraced womanhood with elegance and grace. I was taught to buck against the system that told girls to stay home raising babies, serving in charities, and cooking for their men. I was caught in the middle of an inner struggle between growing into the woman God created me to be and running in the other direction. I didn't relate well with girls, and consequently didn't have many deep friendships with females. To this day I am afraid to raise a daughter because of that long season of discomfort in my female relationships (thankfully God in His infinate wisdom gave me boys!). I was being told I shouldn't be too "girlie", but there was something deep in the fiber of my being that loved the idea of being a picture of femeninity. It wasn't until I fully surrendered my life to Christ in my early twenties that I began to let Him mold and shape my heart in His hands. He cultivated deep desires within me to be every bit of the wife, mommy, sister, daughter, and girlfriend He created me to be. He surrounded me with strong, beautiful, godly women who taught me the immense value in being such a woman. Ironically, today I lead a women's ministry and devote much of my time to teaching, mentoring, and counseling women to fit comfortably in the roles God has chosen for them. I love my ministry, and I love the women I am privileged to serve. It amazes me what God can do to our hearts when we stop looking elsewhere and start embracing and surremdering to His grand design. I am finally right where I am supoosed to be, and I've never been more satisfied in life.
It is right in the middle of His purpose that we find our deepest fulfillment in life. When you find that sweet spot right at the intersection of who God designed you to be and using your gifts to further His Kingdom - stay there.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Country Club Christianity
Let's play a game called "Where Am I?" (And I'm going to warn you up front that there may be hints of sarcasm throughout this blog entry... but it's not because I mean to offend anyone - it's that when I'm passionate about something I tend to lose control a little. I'm working on that.)
So here's how we play the game: I describe a place to you, and you guess where I am. Easy? Ok, good, here we go. I'm walking into a polished white building. There on the announcement board in front of me is a notice about the monthly ladies gathering for crafts. Then below that is another announcement for the upcoming men's biking trip. A calendar is also hanging on the wall that schedules the regular pot-lucks and "Community BBQ/Pic-nics". There's an aerobics class on Tuesday mornings, and childcare on Fridays for "Mother's Morning Out". A baby shower is being planned for Susie, and I can sign up to bring a lunch item if I wish. As I walk a little further I see a board with the names of perspective members listed along with their pictures. And the new member directories are out on the table for anyone to take. I walk into the ladies bathroom and hear a few girls chatting quietly about how they heard that Janie's husband cheated on her and has moved out of the house. As I leave, I put my name on the sign-up sheet for the ladies craft event and I jot down the name of the person I need to call to sign up to volunteer for next week's river clean up.
Where am I? Well, someone might say, "Oh I know... that's my local country club." Another might say, "No, no, I know where she is... it's my local church." Which one is it? My heart breaks at the thought that, for some, it may actually be hard to differentiate between the two. I'm not trying to pick on anyone's particular church here, but I do think we need to take a serious look at our mission as church-goers and evaluate how that mission is being carried out. And if we can't tell the difference between a church and a country club, then something has gone astray since the first church began back in the day of Acts.
I want to say that I've been to many excellent churches that don't look anything like this example I gave, and I am impressed by the growing number of ministries that are right on target with the true mission of Jesus for His church. However, I've also seen some that sadly look more like an exclusive social club than anything Jesus ever implemented. Why is that? How did we get so off track that we got the idea that church is supposed to be a place for meeting social needs and learning how to knit? I run the risk of offending with my sarcasm here, but I just can't imagine the early church - or the church Jesus went to - having a craft night for ladies. Is that what some people's Christianity has been reduced to? I just can't help but wonder how the point is being missed.
In some countries, Christianity is illegal and people cannot worship God freely and openly without fear of persecution or death. They go to underground churches and risk their lives to open a Bible and tell others about the saving grace of Christ. As those Christians sneak into dark apartments to meet in secret to pray and read their Bibles by candlelight, I just can't imagine them breaking out the crafts or enjoying a game of Bingo. They have serious work to do, and they can't afford to waste any time on frivolous social gatherings.
I'm not suggesting that we can't have fun and be social at church, or that every time we get together it has to be all serious work and no play. The fact is, we are free to worship and we don't face persecution, so we don't have to act like we do. But let's not take that so for granted that we neglect to do God's business either. Church is a family - after all, we're brothers and sisters in Christ. And we all have an automatic bond based on that truth. It's perfectly fine to enjoy that bond by having fun together - I've had some of the best times of my life hanging out with my church family. But we can't get so focused on ourselves that we forget what we're there to do. We have a mission, and Jesus should be the forefront of everything we do. He should always be the reason we gather. If we're not making disciples - either by growing in discipleship ourselves or contributing to the discipleship of someone else - we shouldn't call it church.
If the ladies are going to gather every month - great. But open a Bible and talk about God's plan for being a godly wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, employee, etc. Spend some time praying for one another's burdens and strengthening/encouraging one another as you run the race together. Then others can look on at your life and your character and hunger for what you have, which is the spirit of the living God dwelling within you. You learn to live out the gospel by wearing it as a display for the world to notice. My life was changed on a women's retreat (vacation) with my church when I was in my early 20s. That was because we spent just as much time (or more) as we did lounging on the beach, intensely studying God's word, learning from the experience of other wise women, worshiping without distraction, and evoking the power of the Holy Spirit through prayer and laying on hands. There was shopping, and tanning, and it was a lot of fun. But more discipleship happened than anything else. Jesus was the focus, and my life is different today because of it.
I remember when I worked at my church years ago, someone called the church to see if we offered aerobics classes. I thought, "Oh you're looking for the gym - this is a church." It seemed silly to me that anyone would expect the church to be the gym. I know of another church who does have a work-out class for women, but they spend half the time in Bible study (building their spirit) and half the time working out (building their physical bodies). After all, the Bible does say, "Bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, holding promise for both the present life AND the life to come" (1 Timothy 4:8). I think the Bible makes the point that the things that benefit us in this life are fine, but not nearly as important as those which benefit us eternally.
So if you want to do crafts or go camping, great. Go and have a blast. But don't call it church. Call it what it is - hanging out with friends. And make church look less like a country club and more like what Jesus built His church to be: a hospital for the hurting, a refuge for the outcast, a school for those hungry for wisdom, a house of prayer for those needing healing, a place of counsel for the sinner, a temple for those who want to worship with their whole hearts, and a place of love for the unlovable. A place where the Spirit of God leads in everything that is done there. A place where disciples are made. A place where life transformation is the main event. In our society, we don't suffer from too little time to socialize. We suffer from too little time to worship. So why do we go to church to do more socializing and less worshipping? It's time we get back on track. Time is short, and we have a mission before us: "Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit; teaching them to obey all that I have commanded you" (Matthew 28:19).
If I've offended you with my sarcasm, I am sincerely sorry to have hurt you. But the Bible (and Jesus) is an equal-opportunity offender. At some point, everyone who reads it will have their toes stepped on a little. And that's a good thing. I hope my passionate exhortation of truth has pushed you a little further out of your comfort zone, and you respond by evaluating your current mission as a Christian. I am passionate about the things of God, and for that I do not apologize. Now let's go and get some work done!
So here's how we play the game: I describe a place to you, and you guess where I am. Easy? Ok, good, here we go. I'm walking into a polished white building. There on the announcement board in front of me is a notice about the monthly ladies gathering for crafts. Then below that is another announcement for the upcoming men's biking trip. A calendar is also hanging on the wall that schedules the regular pot-lucks and "Community BBQ/Pic-nics". There's an aerobics class on Tuesday mornings, and childcare on Fridays for "Mother's Morning Out". A baby shower is being planned for Susie, and I can sign up to bring a lunch item if I wish. As I walk a little further I see a board with the names of perspective members listed along with their pictures. And the new member directories are out on the table for anyone to take. I walk into the ladies bathroom and hear a few girls chatting quietly about how they heard that Janie's husband cheated on her and has moved out of the house. As I leave, I put my name on the sign-up sheet for the ladies craft event and I jot down the name of the person I need to call to sign up to volunteer for next week's river clean up.
Where am I? Well, someone might say, "Oh I know... that's my local country club." Another might say, "No, no, I know where she is... it's my local church." Which one is it? My heart breaks at the thought that, for some, it may actually be hard to differentiate between the two. I'm not trying to pick on anyone's particular church here, but I do think we need to take a serious look at our mission as church-goers and evaluate how that mission is being carried out. And if we can't tell the difference between a church and a country club, then something has gone astray since the first church began back in the day of Acts.
I want to say that I've been to many excellent churches that don't look anything like this example I gave, and I am impressed by the growing number of ministries that are right on target with the true mission of Jesus for His church. However, I've also seen some that sadly look more like an exclusive social club than anything Jesus ever implemented. Why is that? How did we get so off track that we got the idea that church is supposed to be a place for meeting social needs and learning how to knit? I run the risk of offending with my sarcasm here, but I just can't imagine the early church - or the church Jesus went to - having a craft night for ladies. Is that what some people's Christianity has been reduced to? I just can't help but wonder how the point is being missed.
In some countries, Christianity is illegal and people cannot worship God freely and openly without fear of persecution or death. They go to underground churches and risk their lives to open a Bible and tell others about the saving grace of Christ. As those Christians sneak into dark apartments to meet in secret to pray and read their Bibles by candlelight, I just can't imagine them breaking out the crafts or enjoying a game of Bingo. They have serious work to do, and they can't afford to waste any time on frivolous social gatherings.
I'm not suggesting that we can't have fun and be social at church, or that every time we get together it has to be all serious work and no play. The fact is, we are free to worship and we don't face persecution, so we don't have to act like we do. But let's not take that so for granted that we neglect to do God's business either. Church is a family - after all, we're brothers and sisters in Christ. And we all have an automatic bond based on that truth. It's perfectly fine to enjoy that bond by having fun together - I've had some of the best times of my life hanging out with my church family. But we can't get so focused on ourselves that we forget what we're there to do. We have a mission, and Jesus should be the forefront of everything we do. He should always be the reason we gather. If we're not making disciples - either by growing in discipleship ourselves or contributing to the discipleship of someone else - we shouldn't call it church.
If the ladies are going to gather every month - great. But open a Bible and talk about God's plan for being a godly wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, employee, etc. Spend some time praying for one another's burdens and strengthening/encouraging one another as you run the race together. Then others can look on at your life and your character and hunger for what you have, which is the spirit of the living God dwelling within you. You learn to live out the gospel by wearing it as a display for the world to notice. My life was changed on a women's retreat (vacation) with my church when I was in my early 20s. That was because we spent just as much time (or more) as we did lounging on the beach, intensely studying God's word, learning from the experience of other wise women, worshiping without distraction, and evoking the power of the Holy Spirit through prayer and laying on hands. There was shopping, and tanning, and it was a lot of fun. But more discipleship happened than anything else. Jesus was the focus, and my life is different today because of it.
I remember when I worked at my church years ago, someone called the church to see if we offered aerobics classes. I thought, "Oh you're looking for the gym - this is a church." It seemed silly to me that anyone would expect the church to be the gym. I know of another church who does have a work-out class for women, but they spend half the time in Bible study (building their spirit) and half the time working out (building their physical bodies). After all, the Bible does say, "Bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, holding promise for both the present life AND the life to come" (1 Timothy 4:8). I think the Bible makes the point that the things that benefit us in this life are fine, but not nearly as important as those which benefit us eternally.
So if you want to do crafts or go camping, great. Go and have a blast. But don't call it church. Call it what it is - hanging out with friends. And make church look less like a country club and more like what Jesus built His church to be: a hospital for the hurting, a refuge for the outcast, a school for those hungry for wisdom, a house of prayer for those needing healing, a place of counsel for the sinner, a temple for those who want to worship with their whole hearts, and a place of love for the unlovable. A place where the Spirit of God leads in everything that is done there. A place where disciples are made. A place where life transformation is the main event. In our society, we don't suffer from too little time to socialize. We suffer from too little time to worship. So why do we go to church to do more socializing and less worshipping? It's time we get back on track. Time is short, and we have a mission before us: "Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit; teaching them to obey all that I have commanded you" (Matthew 28:19).
If I've offended you with my sarcasm, I am sincerely sorry to have hurt you. But the Bible (and Jesus) is an equal-opportunity offender. At some point, everyone who reads it will have their toes stepped on a little. And that's a good thing. I hope my passionate exhortation of truth has pushed you a little further out of your comfort zone, and you respond by evaluating your current mission as a Christian. I am passionate about the things of God, and for that I do not apologize. Now let's go and get some work done!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Life Is a Roller Coaster
You know the song, "Life is a highway, I want to drive it all night long..."? Well, I've never found that to be true. Life, in my eyes, is more like a roller coaster than a highway. Highways are usually long and straight and mundane. My life has never resembled that. I think life is more like a short, crazy ride full of ups, downs, twists, turns, fun and fear. So I think the song should have said, "Life is a roller coaster, I want to ride it all night long."
A few years ago, when my oldest son Jonah was five years old, we went to Disney World. He was just starting to enjoy "grown up" rides, and he still had some reservations about some of the scarier ones. It was a fear of the unknown - he didn't know what to expect. He was walking into something that he had never been through before and he honestly wasn't sure what would happen to him. It was dark inside the "Pirates of the Carribbean" and there was fire. He didn't understand that the fire wasn't real and the entire ride was being controlled. He didn't quite understand that it was meant for our enjoyment and there was no real risk of getting hurt. His concerns were very real to his childish mind. What if he got captured by the pirates? What if the fire burned him? What if the boat sunk? He didn't quite understand the concept of "rides", and he was genuinely worried for his safety and well-being.
I, on the other hand, was not afriad at all. Why? What was the difference between his fear and my ability to enjoy the ride without any fear at all? It was our understanding of the situation. I knew that I was not going to die. I knew the ride wasn't going to hurt me in any way. I knew it was carefully crafted and orchestrated by experts who planned every little detail of the ride. I also knew it was short and would be all over in a matter of minutes. And when it ended, I would walk away, unharmed. It was just a ride. My son, on the other hand, didn't understand that the designers and engineers made the ride in such a way that it was completely controlled and harmless. He didn't realize that nothing in the ride was actually as it seemed. That there were workers sitting at computers controlling every operation. I had been on the ride several times - I knew exactly what to expect. It was all new to him, so he didn't know what was around every dark corner. I not only had no fear, but I was able to enjoy the ride - even the parts that seemd momentarilly scarey. My son and I went on the exact same ride, but we had completely different experiences. Mine was relaxed, easy, and fun. His was feardul and stressful, and he couldn't wait for it to be over.
Life with God is much the same. We have a maker - an engineer - who is at the controls and carefully orchestrates every operation. He knows exactly what is going to happen to us and when. When we're going through a trial or a situation that seems scarey and turbulent, we're actually still on the ride and He is still very much in control. He knows it's just a short ride and we'll be off it soon. He also knows we're not really going to be harmed. But so often we walk through it in fear and stressed out about what's around every next corner.
Just like me and my son on the ride at Disney World, two people can go through the same situation in life and have completely differnet experiences. The Christian who knows that God is in control and keeping him safe will ride through a trial or struggle with no fear. He will simply take in the scenery along the way with a comforting realization that he'll be out of it soon enough and he's not going to die (at least not spiritually, since a physical death would only result in everlasting life with God in heaven). That person may expereince discomfort, but not terror. he may even be able to enjoy God's presence along the way, knowing that it's just a ride. Another person, however, who doesn't have the same perspective will be consumed with fear and worry with every twist and turn.
My son is eight years old now, and he's learned to love amusement park rides. In fact, the scarier the better for him. I, too, have been walking with God long enough to have learned to like the ride too - even if at times it's scary. I've learned to be confident in the ride Operator and the fact that He upholds the entire universe in His hands. "I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord; plans to prosper you and not harm you; plans to give you a future and a hope." If we really believe Him, we can sit back and enjoy the ride, even when the 200-foot drop causes our stomaches to rise up into our throats. I can almost hear Him saying, "it will be over soon - you will walk away unscathed - I am in control."
A few years ago, when my oldest son Jonah was five years old, we went to Disney World. He was just starting to enjoy "grown up" rides, and he still had some reservations about some of the scarier ones. It was a fear of the unknown - he didn't know what to expect. He was walking into something that he had never been through before and he honestly wasn't sure what would happen to him. It was dark inside the "Pirates of the Carribbean" and there was fire. He didn't understand that the fire wasn't real and the entire ride was being controlled. He didn't quite understand that it was meant for our enjoyment and there was no real risk of getting hurt. His concerns were very real to his childish mind. What if he got captured by the pirates? What if the fire burned him? What if the boat sunk? He didn't quite understand the concept of "rides", and he was genuinely worried for his safety and well-being.
I, on the other hand, was not afriad at all. Why? What was the difference between his fear and my ability to enjoy the ride without any fear at all? It was our understanding of the situation. I knew that I was not going to die. I knew the ride wasn't going to hurt me in any way. I knew it was carefully crafted and orchestrated by experts who planned every little detail of the ride. I also knew it was short and would be all over in a matter of minutes. And when it ended, I would walk away, unharmed. It was just a ride. My son, on the other hand, didn't understand that the designers and engineers made the ride in such a way that it was completely controlled and harmless. He didn't realize that nothing in the ride was actually as it seemed. That there were workers sitting at computers controlling every operation. I had been on the ride several times - I knew exactly what to expect. It was all new to him, so he didn't know what was around every dark corner. I not only had no fear, but I was able to enjoy the ride - even the parts that seemd momentarilly scarey. My son and I went on the exact same ride, but we had completely different experiences. Mine was relaxed, easy, and fun. His was feardul and stressful, and he couldn't wait for it to be over.
Life with God is much the same. We have a maker - an engineer - who is at the controls and carefully orchestrates every operation. He knows exactly what is going to happen to us and when. When we're going through a trial or a situation that seems scarey and turbulent, we're actually still on the ride and He is still very much in control. He knows it's just a short ride and we'll be off it soon. He also knows we're not really going to be harmed. But so often we walk through it in fear and stressed out about what's around every next corner.
Just like me and my son on the ride at Disney World, two people can go through the same situation in life and have completely differnet experiences. The Christian who knows that God is in control and keeping him safe will ride through a trial or struggle with no fear. He will simply take in the scenery along the way with a comforting realization that he'll be out of it soon enough and he's not going to die (at least not spiritually, since a physical death would only result in everlasting life with God in heaven). That person may expereince discomfort, but not terror. he may even be able to enjoy God's presence along the way, knowing that it's just a ride. Another person, however, who doesn't have the same perspective will be consumed with fear and worry with every twist and turn.
My son is eight years old now, and he's learned to love amusement park rides. In fact, the scarier the better for him. I, too, have been walking with God long enough to have learned to like the ride too - even if at times it's scary. I've learned to be confident in the ride Operator and the fact that He upholds the entire universe in His hands. "I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord; plans to prosper you and not harm you; plans to give you a future and a hope." If we really believe Him, we can sit back and enjoy the ride, even when the 200-foot drop causes our stomaches to rise up into our throats. I can almost hear Him saying, "it will be over soon - you will walk away unscathed - I am in control."
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Mary, How Did You Do It?
It's Christmas time - my very favorite time of the year. It's the time when my home is decorated to be festive and joyful, and Christmas cards from loved ones take over my fireplace mantel. It's the time when the white lights of my 12-foot tree sparkle every night as my husband and I snuggle under a blanket to keep warm. It's the time when hot cider waits on the stove and fills my home with a delicious aroma, and our guest room is filled with gifts and wrapping paper as we prepare to shower our loved ones with generous affection. It's the time of parties, family gatherings, and memory-making. And it's the time when both my home car stereo has nothing on except Christmas music!
I was driving in my car the other day listening to Christmas songs on the radio when I heard a cute little song they play all time called "Mary, Did You Know." It's a sweet song with thought-provoking lyrics that asks things like "Mary, did you know that your baby boy would someday walk on water? And did you know that when you kissed your little baby, you kissed the face of God? And did you know that the child you delivered would soon deliver you?" But I find myself getting slightly bothered every time I hear it. Mostly because I want to answer the question. I want to yell out into the radio speakers in hopes that the singer hears me say, "YES! Yes, of course she knew! She knew it ALL... and the fact that she had never had sex when she became pregnant probably gave her a really big clue! And the fact that an angel appeared and told her what the deal was, likely filled her in too. So YES, she knew!"
I'm sure I'm the only person on the planet who thinks those sarcastic things when I hear that sweet Christmas tune, but try not to judge me. I do understand the sentiment of the song. And I do appreciate the thought it provokes. But I can't help but think of a more realistic question when I think of Mary, the mother of Jesus. As a mother myself, my heart connects with Mary as I try to fathom what she went through being the mother of the Messiah. And as a woman, her situation resonates with me as I wonder how she did it. So the question I would have for Mary is not "did you know," but more importantly, "how did you do it?"
I can't imagine having a child who's under my authority, but has authority over the universe. I mean, what would it have been like to raise a child who could command the weather? How do you teach him to memorize the scriptures when he was the one who wrote them? How do you even relate to him as a mother knowing that he has the power to forgive your sin? And do you feel like you have special privilege in his life? For example, when you're facing an impossible situation, do you ask him to supernaturally change it for you, knowing that he could? We know Mary did this at least once because it's recorded for us in Matthew's gospel in the story of his first public miracle at the wedding feast. Mary was at the wedding and the hosts had run out of wine (which was an embarrassment to them), so she asks her son, Jesus, to do something supernatural and provide more wine. He of course does that time as he turned the water into wine, but wouldn't it have been easy for her to do that kind of thing all the time? Wouldn't you if Jesus was your son? I can see myself now: my car doesn't start - I go get Jesus; I have a migraine - I go get Jesus. I can't imagine what it would have been like for Mary to be the mother of a son who was supernaturally powerful. How did she do it? How did she act as an authority in his life while submitting to his ultimate authority over all life? Nobody else in history has ever had that unique role that Mary did.
I also can't imagine what it was like for her to watch him die. Putting the fact that he's Jesus aside, I can't imagine what it would be like for ANY mother to watch her son be brutally beaten and executed. Mary, however, had to watch her son be tortured and killed for a crime he did not commit, and knowing that he had the power to get down off the cross at any time he wanted to. Can you imagine? Having to listen to your boy - the one you gave birth to - crying out in pain as they whipped him with leather and metal, stripping his skin off his body like a torn rag? She looked on in what had to be absolute torture as her innocent son was mocked, ridiculed, and punished for something he didn't do. I just don't think I could have done it. And I think the worst part of it had to be that she was watching him die to atone for the sins of the world - including HER OWN. That's the part that I just cannot fathom as a mother. She knew he had to bear the weight of God's wrath and take the sins of the world upon himself as he paid the price for them. All sin - including hers. She had to realize the fact that she (in her humanity) was part of the reason he was up there on that cross. Her sin, along with the rest of the world's, was what put him there. He had to suffer so she could receive ultimate forgiveness and spend eternity with him.
I can't help but think it's a lot easier for us to accept that he died for us than it was for his own mother. For us, he's our Savior. We only know him as God. For Mary, he was her son. She knew him as God AND her little boy. I can't imagine how difficult it was for her to watch her boy die for her sins, knowing that she needed a Savior too. Put yourself in her shoes. If you're a mother, imagine that your child had to be tortured and executed in order for you to be forgiven and spend eternity in heaven. Crazy, isn't it? To me, it's unfathomable. But that's what Mary went through.
So when I see Mary in heaven, I think I will ask her how she did it. I can't wait to hear her recant the story in her own words, from one mother's heart to another. And then I will thank her for being willing and making herself available to God's unique plan so that we all can experience the forgiveness of a Savior. And in the meantime, I will allow Mary's experience to inspire me this Christmas to submit to and be available to God's unique plan for MY life - no matter how difficult the road seems or how little I understand. In the end, her experience ended with unmatchable glory, and she would say it was all very much worth the pain. When our difficult experiences bring glory to God, they are also worth the pain. Let's keep Mary's perspective all year long - not just when we celebrate the most wonderful time of the year. Merry Christmas!
I was driving in my car the other day listening to Christmas songs on the radio when I heard a cute little song they play all time called "Mary, Did You Know." It's a sweet song with thought-provoking lyrics that asks things like "Mary, did you know that your baby boy would someday walk on water? And did you know that when you kissed your little baby, you kissed the face of God? And did you know that the child you delivered would soon deliver you?" But I find myself getting slightly bothered every time I hear it. Mostly because I want to answer the question. I want to yell out into the radio speakers in hopes that the singer hears me say, "YES! Yes, of course she knew! She knew it ALL... and the fact that she had never had sex when she became pregnant probably gave her a really big clue! And the fact that an angel appeared and told her what the deal was, likely filled her in too. So YES, she knew!"
I'm sure I'm the only person on the planet who thinks those sarcastic things when I hear that sweet Christmas tune, but try not to judge me. I do understand the sentiment of the song. And I do appreciate the thought it provokes. But I can't help but think of a more realistic question when I think of Mary, the mother of Jesus. As a mother myself, my heart connects with Mary as I try to fathom what she went through being the mother of the Messiah. And as a woman, her situation resonates with me as I wonder how she did it. So the question I would have for Mary is not "did you know," but more importantly, "how did you do it?"
I can't imagine having a child who's under my authority, but has authority over the universe. I mean, what would it have been like to raise a child who could command the weather? How do you teach him to memorize the scriptures when he was the one who wrote them? How do you even relate to him as a mother knowing that he has the power to forgive your sin? And do you feel like you have special privilege in his life? For example, when you're facing an impossible situation, do you ask him to supernaturally change it for you, knowing that he could? We know Mary did this at least once because it's recorded for us in Matthew's gospel in the story of his first public miracle at the wedding feast. Mary was at the wedding and the hosts had run out of wine (which was an embarrassment to them), so she asks her son, Jesus, to do something supernatural and provide more wine. He of course does that time as he turned the water into wine, but wouldn't it have been easy for her to do that kind of thing all the time? Wouldn't you if Jesus was your son? I can see myself now: my car doesn't start - I go get Jesus; I have a migraine - I go get Jesus. I can't imagine what it would have been like for Mary to be the mother of a son who was supernaturally powerful. How did she do it? How did she act as an authority in his life while submitting to his ultimate authority over all life? Nobody else in history has ever had that unique role that Mary did.
I also can't imagine what it was like for her to watch him die. Putting the fact that he's Jesus aside, I can't imagine what it would be like for ANY mother to watch her son be brutally beaten and executed. Mary, however, had to watch her son be tortured and killed for a crime he did not commit, and knowing that he had the power to get down off the cross at any time he wanted to. Can you imagine? Having to listen to your boy - the one you gave birth to - crying out in pain as they whipped him with leather and metal, stripping his skin off his body like a torn rag? She looked on in what had to be absolute torture as her innocent son was mocked, ridiculed, and punished for something he didn't do. I just don't think I could have done it. And I think the worst part of it had to be that she was watching him die to atone for the sins of the world - including HER OWN. That's the part that I just cannot fathom as a mother. She knew he had to bear the weight of God's wrath and take the sins of the world upon himself as he paid the price for them. All sin - including hers. She had to realize the fact that she (in her humanity) was part of the reason he was up there on that cross. Her sin, along with the rest of the world's, was what put him there. He had to suffer so she could receive ultimate forgiveness and spend eternity with him.
I can't help but think it's a lot easier for us to accept that he died for us than it was for his own mother. For us, he's our Savior. We only know him as God. For Mary, he was her son. She knew him as God AND her little boy. I can't imagine how difficult it was for her to watch her boy die for her sins, knowing that she needed a Savior too. Put yourself in her shoes. If you're a mother, imagine that your child had to be tortured and executed in order for you to be forgiven and spend eternity in heaven. Crazy, isn't it? To me, it's unfathomable. But that's what Mary went through.
So when I see Mary in heaven, I think I will ask her how she did it. I can't wait to hear her recant the story in her own words, from one mother's heart to another. And then I will thank her for being willing and making herself available to God's unique plan so that we all can experience the forgiveness of a Savior. And in the meantime, I will allow Mary's experience to inspire me this Christmas to submit to and be available to God's unique plan for MY life - no matter how difficult the road seems or how little I understand. In the end, her experience ended with unmatchable glory, and she would say it was all very much worth the pain. When our difficult experiences bring glory to God, they are also worth the pain. Let's keep Mary's perspective all year long - not just when we celebrate the most wonderful time of the year. Merry Christmas!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
A Little Perspective
Perspective. The dictionary defines it as "a mental image". It's the way you see things - your reality - your view on life. While truth is absolute, and reality isn't relative, perspective definitely changes. Mine has changed a lot in the last week. Whenever I start to see my situation a certain way and develop thoughts and feelings about my state of being, God has a way of opening my mind and showing me a slideshow of life outside my little world. He changes my perspective for me. It's His way of saying, "You may see it this way, but I see it that way." And when God gives me a new perspective, it's usually because He wants me to stop seeing things the way I see them and start seeing things the way He sees them.
For the past two months, my husband and I have been dealing with a season of unemployment. It's the second time in the last year that the economy has taken its toll on my family's livelihood and caused my husband to be laid off. Both times he was out of work for several months while he scrambled to find any and every job he could apply for and watched our bank account dwindle down to nothing. We barely had time to get back on our feet financially when it struck us again - like lightening out of the blue. While we have confidence in a God whose hand has always provided for us and who promises to meet our every need, I can't help but wonder... worry... fear. I'm bothered my the uncertainty. How much longer can we go without income? I'm shaken by the possibilities. Will we lose our home? I'm painfully aware that my life as I know it is changing by the day, and I don't know when or if it will ever return to "normal". Most of the time I am able to remain cheerful and hopeful, but there are times when the fear hits me and I cry. There are times when the sorrow hits me and I sulk. Sometimes I just wonder how much longer I'm going to have to endure all of this.
Then about a week ago, God got tired of the condition of my heart and my skewed view of reality, and He began to open my eyes. In similar fashion to Scrooge's encounters with the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future, He began to show me all the things I was neglecting to see. It started at the mall. After letting my kids play at the indoor playland and satisfying my latte craving, I strolled out to my car, put my beautiful healthy toddler in his carseat, and secured my stroller in the trunk of my SUV. As I got into the front seat, I saw another mother in front of me. My heart immdeiately sank. She had to park her large handicapped-accessable van in the far corners of the parking lot where there were no other cars so she could have plenty of room to extend her metal ramp and unload her son's wheelchair. She slowly lowered the chair out of the van, which held her son who looked to be about the age of my 8 year-old. Mine was happily strapped in my backseat playing his handheld video game. Hers was strapped into a chair, unable to move or speak. By the time she unloaded her son's chair, replaced the heavy ramp back in the van, and got her extensive bag of equipment secured on her shoulder, it took her at least 15 minutes just to start heading towards the mall. I sat there and watched the entire process. "Wow," I thought. She has to go through all that just to go the mall. She has to go through that any time she goes anywhere. I looked back at my two boys - perfect and vibrantly smiling - and I silently thanked God in that parking lot for the incredible blessing of healthy children.
Today I sat with a friend who has cancer - again. She was diagnosed and treated for cervical cancer two years ago and thought she was in the clear. Then she got the dreaded news - the cancer was back and it had spread to her femer bone. As she faces the reality of surgery, more radiation, more chemo, more hair loss, and more sickness, I listened to her tell me how thankful she was for her redeemed life in Jesus Christ. She talked about her troubled past and where she had come from. She talked about how Christ rescued her from danger and dispair. She told me she wanted to shout from the rooftops that Jesus has saved and changed her life. She was so optimistic about her treatment plan and so thankful that the new tumor was only in her leg and not spread throughout her body. She was thankful about the stage of her cancerous tumor. "Wow," I thought. That's impressive. As I prayed for her in her living room, my heart began to overflow with emotion. I am healthy. I don't have cancer. My children are healthy. They can walk and run and play and shout with joy. My life is pretty easy. I come and go as I please with no trouble and virtually nothing to worry about. Suddenly my problems seemed very small. So I don't know where my next paycheck will come from. So what.
Thank you God for putting things into perspective for me. Forgive me for being so wrapped up in myself that I couldn't look away from my self-centered tunnel vision long enough to realize how incredibly blessed I am and how wonderful my life really is. Teach me like Paul to be "content in all things," never giving thought to what I don't have. Help me to "give thanks in all circumstances" like Your word tells me, realizing how much I have to be thankful for. Thank you for perspective.
For the past two months, my husband and I have been dealing with a season of unemployment. It's the second time in the last year that the economy has taken its toll on my family's livelihood and caused my husband to be laid off. Both times he was out of work for several months while he scrambled to find any and every job he could apply for and watched our bank account dwindle down to nothing. We barely had time to get back on our feet financially when it struck us again - like lightening out of the blue. While we have confidence in a God whose hand has always provided for us and who promises to meet our every need, I can't help but wonder... worry... fear. I'm bothered my the uncertainty. How much longer can we go without income? I'm shaken by the possibilities. Will we lose our home? I'm painfully aware that my life as I know it is changing by the day, and I don't know when or if it will ever return to "normal". Most of the time I am able to remain cheerful and hopeful, but there are times when the fear hits me and I cry. There are times when the sorrow hits me and I sulk. Sometimes I just wonder how much longer I'm going to have to endure all of this.
Then about a week ago, God got tired of the condition of my heart and my skewed view of reality, and He began to open my eyes. In similar fashion to Scrooge's encounters with the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future, He began to show me all the things I was neglecting to see. It started at the mall. After letting my kids play at the indoor playland and satisfying my latte craving, I strolled out to my car, put my beautiful healthy toddler in his carseat, and secured my stroller in the trunk of my SUV. As I got into the front seat, I saw another mother in front of me. My heart immdeiately sank. She had to park her large handicapped-accessable van in the far corners of the parking lot where there were no other cars so she could have plenty of room to extend her metal ramp and unload her son's wheelchair. She slowly lowered the chair out of the van, which held her son who looked to be about the age of my 8 year-old. Mine was happily strapped in my backseat playing his handheld video game. Hers was strapped into a chair, unable to move or speak. By the time she unloaded her son's chair, replaced the heavy ramp back in the van, and got her extensive bag of equipment secured on her shoulder, it took her at least 15 minutes just to start heading towards the mall. I sat there and watched the entire process. "Wow," I thought. She has to go through all that just to go the mall. She has to go through that any time she goes anywhere. I looked back at my two boys - perfect and vibrantly smiling - and I silently thanked God in that parking lot for the incredible blessing of healthy children.
Today I sat with a friend who has cancer - again. She was diagnosed and treated for cervical cancer two years ago and thought she was in the clear. Then she got the dreaded news - the cancer was back and it had spread to her femer bone. As she faces the reality of surgery, more radiation, more chemo, more hair loss, and more sickness, I listened to her tell me how thankful she was for her redeemed life in Jesus Christ. She talked about her troubled past and where she had come from. She talked about how Christ rescued her from danger and dispair. She told me she wanted to shout from the rooftops that Jesus has saved and changed her life. She was so optimistic about her treatment plan and so thankful that the new tumor was only in her leg and not spread throughout her body. She was thankful about the stage of her cancerous tumor. "Wow," I thought. That's impressive. As I prayed for her in her living room, my heart began to overflow with emotion. I am healthy. I don't have cancer. My children are healthy. They can walk and run and play and shout with joy. My life is pretty easy. I come and go as I please with no trouble and virtually nothing to worry about. Suddenly my problems seemed very small. So I don't know where my next paycheck will come from. So what.
Thank you God for putting things into perspective for me. Forgive me for being so wrapped up in myself that I couldn't look away from my self-centered tunnel vision long enough to realize how incredibly blessed I am and how wonderful my life really is. Teach me like Paul to be "content in all things," never giving thought to what I don't have. Help me to "give thanks in all circumstances" like Your word tells me, realizing how much I have to be thankful for. Thank you for perspective.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
10 Things I've Learned in 10 Years of Marriage
Every Sunday night, Luke and I have what we call a “Spiritual date night.” We set aside about an hour to get together for a time of Spiritual intimacy. We do different things like do a devotion together, talk about what we’ve studied in God’s word all week, listen to one of our favorite pastors, partake in communion, etc. Tonight we went down a slightly different path and did a fun little exercise that we could share with others. We got inspired by Seattle pastor, Mark Driscoll, who in celebration of his 18 year wedding anniversary posted on his facebook page “18 Things We’ve Learned in 18 Years of Marriage”. He and his wife each came up with 18 things they’ve learned about marriage in their 18 years together. So Luke and I thought it would be fun to come up with our own list. We just celebrated 10 years of marriage this summer, so we each came up with 10 things we’ve learned in 10 years of marriage.
Mandi's List:
1. Don’t let more than a day or two go by without coming together for physical intimacy. Satan loves to turn physical separation into emotional and spiritual separation… and besides, sex cures a multitude of problems!
2. Male brains are very different than female brains. Don’t expect him to see the things you see, think the way you think, or even fully understand your feelings after you’ve explained them to him.
3. When you say “I do” at the alter, you don’t just sign up to be a wife – you are also signing up to be mental health counselor. Embrace that role, don’t resent it.
4. Men thrive on admiration. Be his biggest cheerleader, not his biggest critic.
5. He loves it when you watch football with him, but not when you talk football with him. He appreciates that you can enjoy the game, but he still wants you to be a girl.
6. Being the “woman behind the man” is not demeaning, demoralizing, or suppressing. It’s an honor to be the steward of his vision, so help him to shine and let him get the glory. It will make you feel more valuable than any of your own accomplishments.
7. Make your home a sanctuary – a tidy, organized, comfortable place filled with love - to come home to after the world beats him up. He will always love to come home.
8. Forgive, forgive, and forgive some more, And when you think you can’t possibly forgive another thing – forgive again.
9. Let him know you meant it when you said “until death do us part”. Don’t threaten to walk out at any sign of trouble. Forever means forever, so be loyal and faithful, enduring the tough times together. Don’t let them tear you apart, let them bond you together and make you stronger. If you don’t have struggles, you aren’t close enough.
10. Keep your love life adventurous. Don’t let it get mundane or routine. Try new things, surprise him, and don’t be afraid to add a little element of “risk”. Remember that men are visual creatures, and they thrive on adventure, so appeal to his senses – smell, taste, touch, sight. You are God’s provision for him in this area, and you and God both expect complete fidelity. So make it worth it.
Luke's List:
1. You are the Spiritual head of your home - Your wife is the "artistic director". Learn what a duvet cover, a valence, and a throw pillow are, and be prepared to buy them.
2. Pottery Barn, Williams-Sonoma, and IKEA are your friends.
3. Strong decision-making skills are a turn on to her.
4. Your wife is a better cook than your mother.
5. "Guys night out" will never beat "couple's night in"!
6. Satan is your enemy - your wife is not. She is there to sanctify you, protect you, and help you - let her.
7. Be the man God called you to be. She deserves better than mediocrity, complacency, and half-hearted efforts.
8. Pray early - pray often.
9. The Bible is an aphrodesiac to her. Learn it, live it, love it.
10. The husband wears the pants in the family, but the wife tells him which pants to wear.
Mandi's List:
1. Don’t let more than a day or two go by without coming together for physical intimacy. Satan loves to turn physical separation into emotional and spiritual separation… and besides, sex cures a multitude of problems!
2. Male brains are very different than female brains. Don’t expect him to see the things you see, think the way you think, or even fully understand your feelings after you’ve explained them to him.
3. When you say “I do” at the alter, you don’t just sign up to be a wife – you are also signing up to be mental health counselor. Embrace that role, don’t resent it.
4. Men thrive on admiration. Be his biggest cheerleader, not his biggest critic.
5. He loves it when you watch football with him, but not when you talk football with him. He appreciates that you can enjoy the game, but he still wants you to be a girl.
6. Being the “woman behind the man” is not demeaning, demoralizing, or suppressing. It’s an honor to be the steward of his vision, so help him to shine and let him get the glory. It will make you feel more valuable than any of your own accomplishments.
7. Make your home a sanctuary – a tidy, organized, comfortable place filled with love - to come home to after the world beats him up. He will always love to come home.
8. Forgive, forgive, and forgive some more, And when you think you can’t possibly forgive another thing – forgive again.
9. Let him know you meant it when you said “until death do us part”. Don’t threaten to walk out at any sign of trouble. Forever means forever, so be loyal and faithful, enduring the tough times together. Don’t let them tear you apart, let them bond you together and make you stronger. If you don’t have struggles, you aren’t close enough.
10. Keep your love life adventurous. Don’t let it get mundane or routine. Try new things, surprise him, and don’t be afraid to add a little element of “risk”. Remember that men are visual creatures, and they thrive on adventure, so appeal to his senses – smell, taste, touch, sight. You are God’s provision for him in this area, and you and God both expect complete fidelity. So make it worth it.
Luke's List:
1. You are the Spiritual head of your home - Your wife is the "artistic director". Learn what a duvet cover, a valence, and a throw pillow are, and be prepared to buy them.
2. Pottery Barn, Williams-Sonoma, and IKEA are your friends.
3. Strong decision-making skills are a turn on to her.
4. Your wife is a better cook than your mother.
5. "Guys night out" will never beat "couple's night in"!
6. Satan is your enemy - your wife is not. She is there to sanctify you, protect you, and help you - let her.
7. Be the man God called you to be. She deserves better than mediocrity, complacency, and half-hearted efforts.
8. Pray early - pray often.
9. The Bible is an aphrodesiac to her. Learn it, live it, love it.
10. The husband wears the pants in the family, but the wife tells him which pants to wear.
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